Aiiiight, so… way back on September 29 of last year, I did my very own version of Hip-Hop Confessions. I owned up to some things, some of you did some owning up as well, and fun was had by all. Today, I offer a sequel of sorts: R&B Confessions. Read on as I drop some of my ’90s-related, personal, unconventional, unpopular, idiosyncratic opinions as they relate to my second favorite genre. Checkitout…
1) Not a big Neo-Soul fan: I’ll be the first to admit that I’m partial to “real” R&B, and I hate them rap-singer niggas with all my heart. But one subgenre that I’ve not been crazy about is the so-called “Neo-Soul” thing. Just because an artist wears a headwrap, has a live band, and includes fruit ‘n’ plants ‘n’ shit in their videos, it doesn’t necessarily mean their music is all that great. There’s a few acts that would be construed as Neo-Soul artists that I like (i.e. D’Angelo, Maxwell, Erykah Badu, Musiq), and even they don’t take great pride in that label. It’s not that I haven’t given it a chance or that I don’t respect their willingness to color outside the lines, but a lot of them Neo types make some of the most sleep-inducing albums ever.
Maxwell “Ascension (Don’t Ever Wonder)” (1996)
2) If it ain’t from the first album, Boyz II Men don’t exist to me: And that includes that sucka-ass “End Of The Road” (with the worst line ever spoken in any R&B song ever- “baby I knew about it, I just didn’t care”). It also includes “I’ll Make Love To You” and “On Bended Knee” and especially that “Mama” shit from Soul Food. I don’t deny their talent at all; in fact, we could use a group today with the harmony and songwriting they had. But for me, just about everything by BIIM post-Motownphilly (except for the song below) can kick rocks.
Boyz II Men “Water Runs Dry” (1994)
3) I used to jam the shit out of “Cleopatra’s Theme”: Anybody remember that post I did about that Rugrats shit? Remember when I said there was this other cheesy, kid-friendly record out around the same time that I actually liked? This would be the one in question. I mean, I didn’t go out and buy it or nothin’, but I did happen to dig it enough to know the chorus. Because there’s no way I can take full responsibility for liking this shit, I’ma blame it on my 9-year-old (at the time) niece. That’s what happens when you spend your afternoons watching a kid who looks at Disney and Nickelodeon all the time. One minute you’re singin’ along as a joke, next it’s poppin’ into your head when you’re at the store. Cleopatra, comin’ at ‘cha!
Cleopatra “Cleopatra’s Theme” (1998)
4) There’s A Lot Of ’90s R&B That I Love Now, But Didn’t Care For Much When It Was Out: As some of you know, I’ve said a million times before that I went thru a brief anti-R&B time in my life. But even outside of that lil’ ‘93-’94 gap, there’s also a great deal of stuff that came out after that which I wasn’t too heavy into either. Only over the last 5 years or so have I grown to appreciate certain joints that I once thought were either boring, getting played on the radio too much, or flat-out wack. Blame it on growing up, blame it on nostalgia, or whatever. Altogether, I’m positive that my iPod currently holds about nearly 100 ’90s songs that I wouldn’t have had a few years ago.
Brian McKnight “Anytime” (1997)
And if you thought all that was startling, or even if you didn’t… here comes the greatest love of all biggest revelation of all. Are you ready for this? Are you hangin’ on the edge of your seat? Here it is:
5) Whitney Houston? Blah. As I said with BIIM, I’d never deny Whitney’s talent. I’d never negate that she’s one of the greatest to do it, at least before she started sweatin’ 20 seconds into every performance and doin’ that strange “heh” thing she does. However, I like her singing more than I actually like most of her music. There’s about five Whitney songs I like, and only one of those that I really rock with like that (“You Give Good Love”)- the rest I could take or leave. Most of the slow ones are too Lifetime Channel-esque for my ears, and most of the uptempo ones are too Queer As Folk-esque for me. Whit’s just not my bag… I’ve enjoyed more of her interviews than I have her songs.
Whitney Houston “I’m Your Baby Tonight” (1990)
So there it is. I’ve confessed. When I get to the gates, God ain’t gonna be like “turn yo’ ass around, nigga” (shoutout to Omar Gooding). So now that I’ve cleansed my soul (and neo-soul for that matter), what are some of your confessions? Fire away.
-D!






Posted by Danj! 







