Da Dirty 30: 2000s

12/31/2009

Annnd So… after Eminem‘s controversy, Jeezy‘s Snowman shirts, Puffy’s trial (and name changes), Michael/Aaliyah/Jam Master Jay/ODB/Left Eye/Pimp C/Pun/EY’BODY’s death, the breakup of Roc-A-Fella, the fall-off/comeback/second fall-off of Mariah Carey, the disappearance and tragic-lookin’ reappearances of Lauryn Hill, Crunk, Hyphy, Snap, “Intimate Club Music” (blah), the rise of the Southern hip-hop, the decline of New York hip-hop, 9/11, a dumb president, a Black president…

G-Unit vs. Murder Inc., The Game‘s bipolarity, Keyshia Cole‘s fukked-up family, DMX‘s crackish ways, Tweet‘s song about masturbation “self-love”, the all-around fuckery that was “My Neck My Back”, Nelly sliding credit cards down asscracks, that thong-tha-thong-thong-thong, Wayne‘s Carter series, Usher‘s Confessions, Rihanna getting “Chris Brown-ed” by Chris Brown, Da Band walking for cheesecake, the “Hip-Hop Is Dead” debate…

Throwback jerseys, button-ups, long-ass tees, tight-ass jeans, grillz, BET going to shit, Rick Ross getting exposed, Suge gettin’ knocked the fukk out, Cam’ron wearing pink, R. Kelly pissing on youngins, Alicia Keys wreckin’ homes, Jay-Z becoming a devil worshipper, Jay-Z “retiring”, Beyonce doing eyyy’thing, Mike Jones‘ phone number, Jadakiss’ asthma cough/laugh, Lil’ Jon‘s adlibs, Superhead‘s book, Tahiry‘s ass, Trina’s ass, Buffie’s ass, J.Lo’s ass, Lil’ Kim‘s ass bid, Shyne‘s bid, T.I.‘s bid, Freeway‘s beard, Ashanti‘s sideburns…

Autotune, iTunes, iPods, iPhones, 2-way pagers, ringtones, Being Bobby Brown, SMACK DVDs, BEEF DVDs, singers with names like Lumidee and T-Pain, rappers with names like Chingy and Webbie,  OutKast winning Grammys, Three 6 winning Oscars, Kanye crying over awards, every rapper in existence making mixtapes, rampant file sharing and downloading, Harlem Shakin’, leanin’ back, leanin’ wit’ it, rockin’ wit’ it, crankin’ dat Soulja Boy, jerkin’, and “ballllliiiinnnnnnnn’“…

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